And to be honest i thought I didn't have anything to show at the moment,
but after having a look through I realised I have a few things I want to discuss.
So first off ~ I'm editing my script again (I'm up to version 4 now) and
there's one part i wanted to see what everyone thinks
and another one that I need help with.
This is the one that I simply want an opinion on - I've edited it to try to match the Guardian's personality better.
This is what it WAS:
Guardian
Still exaggerating – and flopping over the cupboard
And they forgot my tea! First a cold one and now none!
~ ahh I can tell today is going to be a bad day
~ ahh I can tell today is going to be a bad day
This is what it is now:
Guardian
Still exaggerating – gasp in shock
My… my….my tea!
Exaggerated dramatic acting while he walks closer to the cupboard
Ahh ~ only the devil would deprive me from my love.
Nae ~ I must be strong ~ I must not speak of such things…
Nae ~ I must be strong ~ I must not speak of such things…
(quick pause of ‘strength’ before falling back into melodrama)
Ooohh my poor tea. How I miss thee. (sniff)
The next one is a sentence I need to have in the script, because the guardian runs away and she can only stop him by appealing to his curiosity. Which, up until now, i've done by bringing in the Eye of Gyron. But the sentence isn't working. If you have any ideas as to how i can reword the sentence ~ please let me know:
Girl
Wait! Please wait! Can‘t you help?! I’m searching for the eye of Gyron!
Now onto some more visual stuff.
My interior design is slowly moving forward, and I hope to soon be able to post the finished video ~ although rendering is proving to take a really really long time...
Until next time =D
~ Ariane
I like the rewording It sounds a lot better what you originally had.
ReplyDeletealso your environment is looking very nice far better than my non textured one. ha ha ha.
haha thanks xD I can't wait to see yours when you're finished =P
DeleteIts going to be a revealing. :P The premier of Alana's 3D Environment. ha ha ha
DeleteThis is starting to look pretty good Ariane, the couch is very nicely done.
ReplyDeletethanks =D
Deletegreat work Ariane......well done...really impressive.....looks damn real...nice..so are you doing fly through or slide show ?
ReplyDeletethanks =P yeah a fly through ~ what about you?
DeleteThe script's sounding much better, Ariane. Good on you!
ReplyDeletethanks =D
DeleteThe script is certainly sounding better, it's tough to tell though without reading the whole thing ;) I want to know more about the Guardians exact actions, I can imagine something, but it seems a little open to interpretation. If it is important to the character (and it seems it is) then the more specific the better.
ReplyDeletethe stuff around it hasn't really changed ~ so I thought i'd leave it seeing as i have the whole script in a previous post =P
Delete